When I first came to London I was only sixteen With a fiver in my pocket and my ole dancing bag I went down to the dilly to check out the scene And I soon ended up on the old main drag
There the he-males and the she-males paraded in style And the old man with the money would flash you a smile In the dark of an alley you’d work for a fiver For a swift one off the wrist down on the old main drag
In the cold winter nights the old town it was chill But there were boys in the cafes who’d give you cheap pills If you didn’t have the money you’d cajole or you’d beg There was always lots of tuinol on the old main drag
One evening as I was lying down by Leicester Square I was picked up by the coppers and kicked in the balls Between the metal doors at Vine Street I was beaten and mauled And they ruined my good looks for the old main drag
In the tube station the old ones who were on the way out Would dribble and vomit and grovel and shout And the coppers would come along and push them about And I wished I could escape from the old main drag
And now I’m lying here I’ve had too much booze I’ve been shat on and spat on and raped and abused I know that I am dying and I wish I could beg For some money to take me from the old main drag
Says my aul‘ wan to your aul‘ wan „Will ye go to the Waxies dargle?“ Says your aul‘ wan to my aul‘ wan, „Sure I haven’t got a farthing. I went down to Monto town To see uncle McArdle But he wouldn’t give me a half a crown For to go to the Waxies dargle.
What’ll you have? I’ll have a pint I’ll have a pint with you, sir, And if one of you doesn’t order soon We’ll be chucked out of the boozer.
Says my aul‘ wan to your aul‘ wan „Will ye go to the Galway races?“ Says your aul‘ wan to my aul‘ wan, „With the price of my aul‘ lad’s braces“ I went down to Capel Street To the Jewish moneylenders But they wouldn’t give me a couple of bob on My aul‘ wan’s lad’s suspenders.
Says my aul‘ wan to your aul‘ wan „We’ve got no beef nor mutton But if we go down to Monto town We’ll get a drink for nuttin'“ Here’s a piece of sound advice Got from an aul‘ fishmonger: „When the food is scarce and you see the hearse Then you’ll know you’ve died of hunger.“